Is a night in with Margaret Mountford, Nick Hewer and a couple of bottles of red your idea of a dream evening? If your answer's yes, then DS may just be able to help. We can't supply the booze, but we can offer an Apprentice drinking game that will bring some much-needed cheer to the Amstrad boss's boardroom on Wednesday evenings. Just try to avoid getting too tipsy and answering back to Sir Alan - he really doesn't like that!
1. For each dramatic Margaret Mountford eye-roll or glare of disdain, down a shot.
2. Have another shot each time Nick Hewer winces/sucks extra hard on a bitter lemon/screws his eyes up in horror.
3. Down a pint any time a candidate says one of the following in the boardroom: "You haven't seen the best of me yet", "I gave 110% on that task", "I'm here to learn and can be moulded by you, Sir Alan".
4. If Ben Clarke mentions his scholarship to Sandhurst or utters the words "just let me finish!", crack into the vodka.
5. Each time Sir Alan cracks an amazing one liner in the boardroom ("Someone may be in need of that commode by the time I'm finished", "I know the words to 'Candle In The Wind', don't make me Elton John", "I'm harder to play than a Stradivarius"), polish off a double and mixer.
6. Each time the camera gives us a lingering shot of Debra Barr's icey stare or James McQuillan's gormless gape, have three fingers of beer.
7. Down some whiskey each time the contestants decide the best way of proving who is Britain's best business hopeful is by finding out who can shout the loudest and p*ss off the most people during a task.
8. Each time Lorraine Tighe tells her team that she has "a funny feeling", down a shot. Have a second shot when everyone else ignores her.
9. Any time Sir Alan's East London upbringing, the "six-figure salary" or "Sir Alan's business empire" are mentioned, help yourself to a glass of red wine.
10. Down all your remaining drinks when Sir Alan Sugar chooses to fire a quiet, polite person that you would love to work alongside and saves a gobby, arrogant twerp who barks inane, offensive babble every two seconds.
This feature is intended to entertain only. Digital Spy
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
the one second classic guesses!!!
hi gang, here are all the guesses so far,
jmcd
3 cds
michael jackson - billie jean
addicted to love - robert palmer
4 cds
phil collins - you can hurry love
michael jackson - thriller
5 cds
jackie harrison - december 1963
6cds
bruce springsteen- dancing in the dark
elton john - nikita
7 cds
zz top - gimme all your lovin
8 cds
don't you want me baby - human league
racey - some girls
bad - michael jackson
9cds
matrimony - gilbert o'sullivan
walk this way - run dmc
inxs - need you tonight
i wanna dance with somebody - whitney
10 cds
mandika - sinead o'connor
boyzone - picture of you
bruce - streets of philadeplhia
11 cds
bruce spring - born in the usa
buddy holy -peggy sue
katy perry - hot and cold
12cds
vanilla ice - ice ice baby
zztop - sharp dressed man
elton john - i'm still standing
aha - take on me
13 cds
eye of the tiger - survivor
blondie - denise
addicted to love - robert palmer
14 cds
phil collins - n the air tonight
roy orbison - pretty woman
15cds
a good heart - fergal sharkey
galway girl - mundy
culture club - karma chameleon
17cds
dont you want me - human league
sweet dreams - eurytmics
sunday bloody sunday - u2
dave clark 5 - bits and pieces
18cds
sugarbabes - girls
kid rock - we will rock you
michael jackson - black or white
19cds
Madonna - Holiday
FYC - She Drives Me Crazy
20 cds
Robert Palmer - Addicted To Love
Queen - I want to break free.
21 cd's
INXS
Michael Jackson - Billie Jean.
22 cds
George Harrisson - Got My Mind Set On You
Phil Collins - In The Air Tonight
23 Cds
George Harrison - Got My Mind
ZZ Top - Sharp Dressed Man
Debbie Harry - One Way Or Another
24 cds
u2 - where the streets have no name
rod stewart - do you think i'm sexy
25cds
debbie harry - maria
queen another one bites the dust
dusty sprinfield - you don't have to say you love me
26cds
tina turner - simply the best
lionel ritchie - you're my destiny
kajagoogoo - too shy
27cds
erasure - blue savannah
bucks fizz - making your mind up
kid rock - all summe long
28cds
bon jovi - living on a praye
stevie winwood - hgher love
maeve - run dmc - walk this way
29 cds
inxs - suicide blonde
wham - freedom
b52s - love shack
jmcd
3 cds
michael jackson - billie jean
addicted to love - robert palmer
4 cds
phil collins - you can hurry love
michael jackson - thriller
5 cds
jackie harrison - december 1963
6cds
bruce springsteen- dancing in the dark
elton john - nikita
7 cds
zz top - gimme all your lovin
8 cds
don't you want me baby - human league
racey - some girls
bad - michael jackson
9cds
matrimony - gilbert o'sullivan
walk this way - run dmc
inxs - need you tonight
i wanna dance with somebody - whitney
10 cds
mandika - sinead o'connor
boyzone - picture of you
bruce - streets of philadeplhia
11 cds
bruce spring - born in the usa
buddy holy -peggy sue
katy perry - hot and cold
12cds
vanilla ice - ice ice baby
zztop - sharp dressed man
elton john - i'm still standing
aha - take on me
13 cds
eye of the tiger - survivor
blondie - denise
addicted to love - robert palmer
14 cds
phil collins - n the air tonight
roy orbison - pretty woman
15cds
a good heart - fergal sharkey
galway girl - mundy
culture club - karma chameleon
17cds
dont you want me - human league
sweet dreams - eurytmics
sunday bloody sunday - u2
dave clark 5 - bits and pieces
18cds
sugarbabes - girls
kid rock - we will rock you
michael jackson - black or white
19cds
Madonna - Holiday
FYC - She Drives Me Crazy
20 cds
Robert Palmer - Addicted To Love
Queen - I want to break free.
21 cd's
INXS
Michael Jackson - Billie Jean.
22 cds
George Harrisson - Got My Mind Set On You
Phil Collins - In The Air Tonight
23 Cds
George Harrison - Got My Mind
ZZ Top - Sharp Dressed Man
Debbie Harry - One Way Or Another
24 cds
u2 - where the streets have no name
rod stewart - do you think i'm sexy
25cds
debbie harry - maria
queen another one bites the dust
dusty sprinfield - you don't have to say you love me
26cds
tina turner - simply the best
lionel ritchie - you're my destiny
kajagoogoo - too shy
27cds
erasure - blue savannah
bucks fizz - making your mind up
kid rock - all summe long
28cds
bon jovi - living on a praye
stevie winwood - hgher love
maeve - run dmc - walk this way
29 cds
inxs - suicide blonde
wham - freedom
b52s - love shack
Thursday, January 15, 2009
to help survive celeb bb
hi all, as promised the big brother drinking game - use wisely!!!
john
Ulrika is fighting with Terry, Michelle is romancing Ben, and Coolio is annoying just about everybody. However, Celebrity Big Brother 6 has been missing one major thing so far - drunken, sordid, embarrassing late-night activities. To help things along, and in the spirit of Big Brother series gone by, DS has created its own drinking game to keep us feeling merry for the final week of the reality show.
Rule One - Knock back a shot each time a celeb says they are "ready to leave", or smiles through gritted teeth and claims they are "actually really happy" when they are nominated.
Rule Two - Down a beer whenever Verne "sex tape" Troyer is shown tucking himself into bed/giggling/struggling to get up some steps, making him look very, very cute.
Rule Three - Down a shot each time Coolio acts as if he's an A-list hip-hop legend, rather than a washed-up, one-hit wonder who has resorted to entering reality shows to pay the bills.
Rule Four - Swig as much wine as possible each time Tina Malone discusses "p***ing" or "s***ing" herself.
Rule Five - Have a double brandy each time you watch Terry Christian mumbling aimlessly and are thankful that The Word is no longer on the TV.
Rule Six - Make yourself a whiskey if you think Tommy Sheridan at any point looks like a dad having a mid-life crisis at a Flares disco.
Rule Seven - Do a line of shots each time Michelle Heaton stresses that she has no feelings for Ben Adams and that she will most definitely not be selling magazine stories about their "showmance" when they leave.
Rule Eight - Have a double of choice if Ulrika tells a housemate that she misses her kids/wanted to leave last week/doesn't want to be there anymore.
Rule Nine - Tuck into a bottle of gin if Coolio starts free-styling raps.
Rule Ten - Chug some beer each time Tina manages to turn around a conversation about another housemate's personal heartbreaking story to be about her.
Rule Eleven - Have two fingers of beer each time you look at Mutya "cover yourself up" Buena and wonder how the heck she ever fitted in with the Sugababes.
Rule Twelve - Finish off all your remaining drinks if Ben "I'm most famous for being in A1" Adams says something remotely interesting.
john
Ulrika is fighting with Terry, Michelle is romancing Ben, and Coolio is annoying just about everybody. However, Celebrity Big Brother 6 has been missing one major thing so far - drunken, sordid, embarrassing late-night activities. To help things along, and in the spirit of Big Brother series gone by, DS has created its own drinking game to keep us feeling merry for the final week of the reality show.
Rule One - Knock back a shot each time a celeb says they are "ready to leave", or smiles through gritted teeth and claims they are "actually really happy" when they are nominated.
Rule Two - Down a beer whenever Verne "sex tape" Troyer is shown tucking himself into bed/giggling/struggling to get up some steps, making him look very, very cute.
Rule Three - Down a shot each time Coolio acts as if he's an A-list hip-hop legend, rather than a washed-up, one-hit wonder who has resorted to entering reality shows to pay the bills.
Rule Four - Swig as much wine as possible each time Tina Malone discusses "p***ing" or "s***ing" herself.
Rule Five - Have a double brandy each time you watch Terry Christian mumbling aimlessly and are thankful that The Word is no longer on the TV.
Rule Six - Make yourself a whiskey if you think Tommy Sheridan at any point looks like a dad having a mid-life crisis at a Flares disco.
Rule Seven - Do a line of shots each time Michelle Heaton stresses that she has no feelings for Ben Adams and that she will most definitely not be selling magazine stories about their "showmance" when they leave.
Rule Eight - Have a double of choice if Ulrika tells a housemate that she misses her kids/wanted to leave last week/doesn't want to be there anymore.
Rule Nine - Tuck into a bottle of gin if Coolio starts free-styling raps.
Rule Ten - Chug some beer each time Tina manages to turn around a conversation about another housemate's personal heartbreaking story to be about her.
Rule Eleven - Have two fingers of beer each time you look at Mutya "cover yourself up" Buena and wonder how the heck she ever fitted in with the Sugababes.
Rule Twelve - Finish off all your remaining drinks if Ben "I'm most famous for being in A1" Adams says something remotely interesting.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
could this make you rich in 2009???
hi all,
try this out - might make your 2009 a prosperous one!!!
jmcd
ANCIENT CHINESE LAW OF ABUNDANCE
This is a two thousand year old method of guaranteeing financial prosperity in the new year, adapted to modern methodology. Here's how it works:
Take a blank check.
Date it with the current date.
Make the check out to yourself.
Use your full legal name.
Leave the dollar box and line blank.
In the memo area write, "paid in full."
Sign the check, "Law of Abundance."
That's it! You will need to keep the check with you at all times in the new year (except when bathing & sleeping). You must complete before the first new moon of the year, which this year is January 13.
try this out - might make your 2009 a prosperous one!!!
jmcd
ANCIENT CHINESE LAW OF ABUNDANCE
This is a two thousand year old method of guaranteeing financial prosperity in the new year, adapted to modern methodology. Here's how it works:
Take a blank check.
Date it with the current date.
Make the check out to yourself.
Use your full legal name.
Leave the dollar box and line blank.
In the memo area write, "paid in full."
Sign the check, "Law of Abundance."
That's it! You will need to keep the check with you at all times in the new year (except when bathing & sleeping). You must complete before the first new moon of the year, which this year is January 13.
Monday, December 22, 2008
The Gift Agreement
hi all,
we were talking about this morning - feel free to print it and get your other half to sign up to it
jmcd
THE OFFICIAL GIFT GIVING AGREEMENT
Agreement entered into this _____ day of _____, 2008, by Husband and Wife, hereafter called "Couple." Whereas, Couple often argue over ill-chosen gifts; and whereas, a gift-giving agreement may save Couple's marriage and/or reduce return trips to the mall.
Gifts for Wife
Husband shall not give Wife practical gifts such as an iron, a toaster, a dishwasher or a vacuum cleaner... unless husband plans to use them.
Husband shall avoid the following: a) Chocolate when Wife is on a diet. b) Tight clothing meant to encourage wife to diet. c) Anything transparent.
Husband shall keep track of Wife's clothing sizes, except those Wife refuses to divulge.
Husband shall not give Wife anything that can be bought at an airport.
Husband shall not buy Wife earrings that weigh more than her head.
Husband shall remember that gifts should be personal. Gift certificates and cash are not personal... unless large enough to buy a diamond watch.
Husband shall avoid the following: a) Any former girlfriend's favorite fragrance. b) His mother's favorite fragrance. c) Anything Wife admires on someone else, unless Husband confirms candor or compliment.
Husband is encouraged to buy Wife gifts in the following categories: a) Anything specifically requested. b) Catalog items discreetly circled. c) Any object containing silver, platinum or gold.
Gifts for Husband
Wife shall not give Husband anything that smells like perfume... no matter how macho its name or its spokesman.
Wife shall not buy Husband home repair manuals.
Wife shall not give Husband anything "cute" or containing the word organizer.
Wife shall not get Husband anything used in a gym.
Wife shall not buy Husband silk boxers, unless she agrees to wear a matching pair.
Wife shall not give Husband anything that's for Husband's own good.
Wife is encouraged to buy Husband items in the following categories: a) Anything Couple's 12-year-old son would like. b) Sporting equipment, provided Husband can exchange it for something with a better "feel." c) Stereo and electronic equipment provided Husband can exchange it for something with more "oomph."
Miscellaneous
Husband concedes that writing thank-you notes for the entire household and buying gifts for Husband's business associates are not Wife's job.
Husband concedes that there is no logical connection between gender and gift wrapping.
If despite all precautions, one spouse buys the other something he or she hates (a gift you wouldn't give your worst enemy, well maybe, but only if it were on sale), couple shall behave in a diplomatic fashion. The following shall not be deemed diplomatic: a) "Are you totally insane?" b) "Give me the receipt, cheapskate!" c) "But you said you wanted this!"
Couple shall cherish the loving thought that is behind ever single gift... even the ones they exchange.
we were talking about this morning - feel free to print it and get your other half to sign up to it
jmcd
THE OFFICIAL GIFT GIVING AGREEMENT
Agreement entered into this _____ day of _____, 2008, by Husband and Wife, hereafter called "Couple." Whereas, Couple often argue over ill-chosen gifts; and whereas, a gift-giving agreement may save Couple's marriage and/or reduce return trips to the mall.
Gifts for Wife
Husband shall not give Wife practical gifts such as an iron, a toaster, a dishwasher or a vacuum cleaner... unless husband plans to use them.
Husband shall avoid the following: a) Chocolate when Wife is on a diet. b) Tight clothing meant to encourage wife to diet. c) Anything transparent.
Husband shall keep track of Wife's clothing sizes, except those Wife refuses to divulge.
Husband shall not give Wife anything that can be bought at an airport.
Husband shall not buy Wife earrings that weigh more than her head.
Husband shall remember that gifts should be personal. Gift certificates and cash are not personal... unless large enough to buy a diamond watch.
Husband shall avoid the following: a) Any former girlfriend's favorite fragrance. b) His mother's favorite fragrance. c) Anything Wife admires on someone else, unless Husband confirms candor or compliment.
Husband is encouraged to buy Wife gifts in the following categories: a) Anything specifically requested. b) Catalog items discreetly circled. c) Any object containing silver, platinum or gold.
Gifts for Husband
Wife shall not give Husband anything that smells like perfume... no matter how macho its name or its spokesman.
Wife shall not buy Husband home repair manuals.
Wife shall not give Husband anything "cute" or containing the word organizer.
Wife shall not get Husband anything used in a gym.
Wife shall not buy Husband silk boxers, unless she agrees to wear a matching pair.
Wife shall not give Husband anything that's for Husband's own good.
Wife is encouraged to buy Husband items in the following categories: a) Anything Couple's 12-year-old son would like. b) Sporting equipment, provided Husband can exchange it for something with a better "feel." c) Stereo and electronic equipment provided Husband can exchange it for something with more "oomph."
Miscellaneous
Husband concedes that writing thank-you notes for the entire household and buying gifts for Husband's business associates are not Wife's job.
Husband concedes that there is no logical connection between gender and gift wrapping.
If despite all precautions, one spouse buys the other something he or she hates (a gift you wouldn't give your worst enemy, well maybe, but only if it were on sale), couple shall behave in a diplomatic fashion. The following shall not be deemed diplomatic: a) "Are you totally insane?" b) "Give me the receipt, cheapskate!" c) "But you said you wanted this!"
Couple shall cherish the loving thought that is behind ever single gift... even the ones they exchange.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
take the man quiz!!!!
hi all,
as promised - the man quiz - take the quiz and let us know what your score is
cheers
john mcd
#
THE MAN QUIZ
Take it on the air with your female co-hosts and see who is more of a "man." Give yourself a point for every yes.
Got a tattoo
Brewed your own beer
Driven a car worth more than 100,000 dollars
Owned a dog
Quit a job because you were pissed at (or hated) the boss
Told your dad face-to-face that you love him
Worked overseas
Placed a bet over 200 dollars
Demanded a pay raise
Saved a life
Grown a beard and had it for more than two years
Taken a ride on a wave that was bigger than you
Had sex in a public place
Run a marathon
Learned to play a musical instrument
Written a book
Gained revenge on someone
Been a best man
Caught a big fish
Flown a plane
Rode a horse
Had a go at diving
Became a vegetarian for at least 6 months
Gone broke trying to buy love
Bought a dud car
Slept with an EX-girlfriend
Become a dad
Sat on a jury
Swam with dolphins
Woken up with a stranger
Given blood
Gone to an all black march
Acquired a scar
Climbed a mountain
Performed an anonymous act of generosity
Skydived
Tied a bow tie by yourself
Won a trophy
Rode a motorcycle twice the speed limit
Your score:
If you said "yes" 10 or less times -- you need to get out more.
If you said "yes" between 11 and 20 times -- you're cool. You've suffered pain, embarrassment and success.
If you said "yes" between 21 and 30 times -- you are a better man than most. Good luck with the rest of the list.
If you said "yes" between 31 and 40 times, you rule! You are the man!
as promised - the man quiz - take the quiz and let us know what your score is
cheers
john mcd
#
THE MAN QUIZ
Take it on the air with your female co-hosts and see who is more of a "man." Give yourself a point for every yes.
Got a tattoo
Brewed your own beer
Driven a car worth more than 100,000 dollars
Owned a dog
Quit a job because you were pissed at (or hated) the boss
Told your dad face-to-face that you love him
Worked overseas
Placed a bet over 200 dollars
Demanded a pay raise
Saved a life
Grown a beard and had it for more than two years
Taken a ride on a wave that was bigger than you
Had sex in a public place
Run a marathon
Learned to play a musical instrument
Written a book
Gained revenge on someone
Been a best man
Caught a big fish
Flown a plane
Rode a horse
Had a go at diving
Became a vegetarian for at least 6 months
Gone broke trying to buy love
Bought a dud car
Slept with an EX-girlfriend
Become a dad
Sat on a jury
Swam with dolphins
Woken up with a stranger
Given blood
Gone to an all black march
Acquired a scar
Climbed a mountain
Performed an anonymous act of generosity
Skydived
Tied a bow tie by yourself
Won a trophy
Rode a motorcycle twice the speed limit
Your score:
If you said "yes" 10 or less times -- you need to get out more.
If you said "yes" between 11 and 20 times -- you're cool. You've suffered pain, embarrassment and success.
If you said "yes" between 21 and 30 times -- you are a better man than most. Good luck with the rest of the list.
If you said "yes" between 31 and 40 times, you rule! You are the man!
Monday, December 8, 2008
the latest one second classic guesses!!!!
hi all,
still no correct answers - these are the latest guesses
have a go yourself after 8 any morning
john
14cds
phil collins - you can hurry love
tina turner - river deep mountain high
edison lighthouse - love grows where my rosemary goes
15cds
bruce springsteen - glory days
wham - wake me up before you gogo
beatles - penny lane
16cds
queen
whitney houston - quen of the night
shirly bassey - hey big spender
17 cds
phil collins - can't hurry love
fergal sharkey - a good heart
national express - divine comedy
18cds
i have a dream
footloose
billy ocean - get out of my dreams
19 cds
tell her about it - billy joel
sex bomb - tom jones
still no correct answers - these are the latest guesses
have a go yourself after 8 any morning
john
14cds
phil collins - you can hurry love
tina turner - river deep mountain high
edison lighthouse - love grows where my rosemary goes
15cds
bruce springsteen - glory days
wham - wake me up before you gogo
beatles - penny lane
16cds
queen
whitney houston - quen of the night
shirly bassey - hey big spender
17 cds
phil collins - can't hurry love
fergal sharkey - a good heart
national express - divine comedy
18cds
i have a dream
footloose
billy ocean - get out of my dreams
19 cds
tell her about it - billy joel
sex bomb - tom jones
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