The Jumbo Breakfast Show on Midlands 103

the apprentice drinking game

2009-05-12T23:09:00.000-07:00

Is a night in with Margaret Mountford, Nick Hewer and a couple of bottles of red your idea of a dream evening? If your answer's yes, then DS may just be able to help. We can't supply the booze, but we can offer an Apprentice drinking game that will bring some much-needed cheer to the Amstrad boss's boardroom on Wednesday evenings. Just try to avoid getting too tipsy and answering back to Sir Alan - he really doesn't like that!

1. For each dramatic Margaret Mountford eye-roll or glare of disdain, down a shot.

2. Have another shot each time Nick Hewer winces/sucks extra hard on a bitter lemon/screws his eyes up in horror.

3. Down a pint any time a candidate says one of the following in the boardroom: "You haven't seen the best of me yet", "I gave 110% on that task", "I'm here to learn and can be moulded by you, Sir Alan".

4. If Ben Clarke mentions his scholarship to Sandhurst or utters the words "just let me finish!", crack into the vodka.

5. Each time Sir Alan cracks an amazing one liner in the boardroom ("Someone may be in need of that commode by the time I'm finished", "I know the words to 'Candle In The Wind', don't make me Elton John", "I'm harder to play than a Stradivarius"), polish off a double and mixer.

6. Each time the camera gives us a lingering shot of Debra Barr's icey stare or James McQuillan's gormless gape, have three fingers of beer.

7. Down some whiskey each time the contestants decide the best way of proving who is Britain's best business hopeful is by finding out who can shout the loudest and p*ss off the most people during a task.

8. Each time Lorraine Tighe tells her team that she has "a funny feeling", down a shot. Have a second shot when everyone else ignores her.

9. Any time Sir Alan's East London upbringing, the "six-figure salary" or "Sir Alan's business empire" are mentioned, help yourself to a glass of red wine.

10. Down all your remaining drinks when Sir Alan Sugar chooses to fire a quiet, polite person that you would love to work alongside and saves a gobby, arrogant twerp who barks inane, offensive babble every two seconds.

This feature is intended to entertain only. Digital Spy

the one second classic guesses!!!

2009-03-03T00:16:00.000-08:00

hi gang, here are all the guesses so far,
jmcd

3 cds
michael jackson - billie jean
addicted to love - robert palmer

4 cds
phil collins - you can hurry love
michael jackson - thriller

5 cds
jackie harrison - december 1963

6cds

bruce springsteen- dancing in the dark
elton john - nikita

7 cds
zz top - gimme all your lovin

8 cds
don't you want me baby - human league
racey - some girls
bad - michael jackson

9cds
matrimony - gilbert o'sullivan
walk this way - run dmc
inxs - need you tonight
i wanna dance with somebody - whitney

10 cds
mandika - sinead o'connor
boyzone - picture of you
bruce - streets of philadeplhia

11 cds
bruce spring - born in the usa
buddy holy -peggy sue
katy perry - hot and cold

12cds
vanilla ice - ice ice baby
zztop - sharp dressed man
elton john - i'm still standing
aha - take on me

13 cds
eye of the tiger - survivor
blondie - denise
addicted to love - robert palmer

14 cds
phil collins - n the air tonight
roy orbison - pretty woman

15cds
a good heart - fergal sharkey
galway girl - mundy
culture club - karma chameleon

17cds
dont you want me - human league
sweet dreams - eurytmics
sunday bloody sunday - u2
dave clark 5 - bits and pieces

18cds
sugarbabes - girls
kid rock - we will rock you
michael jackson - black or white

19cds
Madonna - Holiday
FYC - She Drives Me Crazy

20 cds
Robert Palmer - Addicted To Love
Queen - I want to break free.

21 cd's
INXS
Michael Jackson - Billie Jean.

22 cds
George Harrisson - Got My Mind Set On You
Phil Collins - In The Air Tonight

23 Cds
George Harrison - Got My Mind
ZZ Top - Sharp Dressed Man
Debbie Harry - One Way Or Another

24 cds
u2 - where the streets have no name
rod stewart - do you think i'm sexy

25cds
debbie harry - maria
queen another one bites the dust
dusty sprinfield - you don't have to say you love me

26cds
tina turner - simply the best
lionel ritchie - you're my destiny
kajagoogoo - too shy

27cds
erasure - blue savannah
bucks fizz - making your mind up
kid rock - all summe long

28cds
bon jovi - living on a praye
stevie winwood - hgher love
maeve - run dmc - walk this way

29 cds
inxs - suicide blonde
wham - freedom
b52s - love shack

to help survive celeb bb

2009-01-15T23:31:00.000-08:00

hi all, as promised the big brother drinking game - use wisely!!!
john

Ulrika is fighting with Terry, Michelle is romancing Ben, and Coolio is annoying just about everybody. However, Celebrity Big Brother 6 has been missing one major thing so far - drunken, sordid, embarrassing late-night activities. To help things along, and in the spirit of Big Brother series gone by, DS has created its own drinking game to keep us feeling merry for the final week of the reality show.

Rule One - Knock back a shot each time a celeb says they are "ready to leave", or smiles through gritted teeth and claims they are "actually really happy" when they are nominated.

Rule Two - Down a beer whenever Verne "sex tape" Troyer is shown tucking himself into bed/giggling/struggling to get up some steps, making him look very, very cute.

Rule Three - Down a shot each time Coolio acts as if he's an A-list hip-hop legend, rather than a washed-up, one-hit wonder who has resorted to entering reality shows to pay the bills.

Rule Four - Swig as much wine as possible each time Tina Malone discusses "p***ing" or "s***ing" herself.

Rule Five - Have a double brandy each time you watch Terry Christian mumbling aimlessly and are thankful that The Word is no longer on the TV.

Rule Six - Make yourself a whiskey if you think Tommy Sheridan at any point looks like a dad having a mid-life crisis at a Flares disco.

Rule Seven - Do a line of shots each time Michelle Heaton stresses that she has no feelings for Ben Adams and that she will most definitely not be selling magazine stories about their "showmance" when they leave.

Rule Eight - Have a double of choice if Ulrika tells a housemate that she misses her kids/wanted to leave last week/doesn't want to be there anymore.

Rule Nine - Tuck into a bottle of gin if Coolio starts free-styling raps.

Rule Ten - Chug some beer each time Tina manages to turn around a conversation about another housemate's personal heartbreaking story to be about her.

Rule Eleven - Have two fingers of beer each time you look at Mutya "cover yourself up" Buena and wonder how the heck she ever fitted in with the Sugababes.

Rule Twelve - Finish off all your remaining drinks if Ben "I'm most famous for being in A1" Adams says something remotely interesting.

could this make you rich in 2009???

2009-01-01T23:13:00.000-08:00

hi all,
try this out - might make your 2009 a prosperous one!!!
jmcd

ANCIENT CHINESE LAW OF ABUNDANCE

This is a two thousand year old method of guaranteeing financial prosperity in the new year, adapted to modern methodology. Here's how it works:

Take a blank check.
Date it with the current date.
Make the check out to yourself.
Use your full legal name.
Leave the dollar box and line blank.
In the memo area write, "paid in full."
Sign the check, "Law of Abundance."

That's it! You will need to keep the check with you at all times in the new year (except when bathing & sleeping). You must complete before the first new moon of the year, which this year is January 13.

The Gift Agreement

2008-12-22T23:12:00.000-08:00

hi all,

we were talking about this morning - feel free to print it and get your other half to sign up to it

jmcd

THE OFFICIAL GIFT GIVING AGREEMENT
Agreement entered into this _____ day of _____, 2008, by Husband and Wife, hereafter called "Couple." Whereas, Couple often argue over ill-chosen gifts; and whereas, a gift-giving agreement may save Couple's marriage and/or reduce return trips to the mall.
Gifts for Wife
Husband shall not give Wife practical gifts such as an iron, a toaster, a dishwasher or a vacuum cleaner... unless husband plans to use them.
Husband shall avoid the following: a) Chocolate when Wife is on a diet. b) Tight clothing meant to encourage wife to diet. c) Anything transparent.
Husband shall keep track of Wife's clothing sizes, except those Wife refuses to divulge.
Husband shall not give Wife anything that can be bought at an airport.
Husband shall not buy Wife earrings that weigh more than her head.
Husband shall remember that gifts should be personal. Gift certificates and cash are not personal... unless large enough to buy a diamond watch.
Husband shall avoid the following: a) Any former girlfriend's favorite fragrance. b) His mother's favorite fragrance. c) Anything Wife admires on someone else, unless Husband confirms candor or compliment.
Husband is encouraged to buy Wife gifts in the following categories: a) Anything specifically requested. b) Catalog items discreetly circled. c) Any object containing silver, platinum or gold.
Gifts for Husband
Wife shall not give Husband anything that smells like perfume... no matter how macho its name or its spokesman.
Wife shall not buy Husband home repair manuals.
Wife shall not give Husband anything "cute" or containing the word organizer.
Wife shall not get Husband anything used in a gym.
Wife shall not buy Husband silk boxers, unless she agrees to wear a matching pair.
Wife shall not give Husband anything that's for Husband's own good.
Wife is encouraged to buy Husband items in the following categories: a) Anything Couple's 12-year-old son would like. b) Sporting equipment, provided Husband can exchange it for something with a better "feel." c) Stereo and electronic equipment provided Husband can exchange it for something with more "oomph."
Miscellaneous
Husband concedes that writing thank-you notes for the entire household and buying gifts for Husband's business associates are not Wife's job.
Husband concedes that there is no logical connection between gender and gift wrapping.
If despite all precautions, one spouse buys the other something he or she hates (a gift you wouldn't give your worst enemy, well maybe, but only if it were on sale), couple shall behave in a diplomatic fashion. The following shall not be deemed diplomatic: a) "Are you totally insane?" b) "Give me the receipt, cheapskate!" c) "But you said you wanted this!"
Couple shall cherish the loving thought that is behind ever single gift... even the ones they exchange.

take the man quiz!!!!

2008-12-21T23:59:00.001-08:00

hi all,
as promised - the man quiz - take the quiz and let us know what your score is
cheers
john mcd

#
THE MAN QUIZ
Take it on the air with your female co-hosts and see who is more of a "man." Give yourself a point for every yes.
Got a tattoo
Brewed your own beer
Driven a car worth more than 100,000 dollars
Owned a dog
Quit a job because you were pissed at (or hated) the boss
Told your dad face-to-face that you love him
Worked overseas
Placed a bet over 200 dollars
Demanded a pay raise
Saved a life
Grown a beard and had it for more than two years
Taken a ride on a wave that was bigger than you
Had sex in a public place
Run a marathon
Learned to play a musical instrument
Written a book
Gained revenge on someone
Been a best man
Caught a big fish
Flown a plane
Rode a horse
Had a go at diving
Became a vegetarian for at least 6 months
Gone broke trying to buy love
Bought a dud car
Slept with an EX-girlfriend
Become a dad
Sat on a jury
Swam with dolphins
Woken up with a stranger
Given blood
Gone to an all black march
Acquired a scar
Climbed a mountain
Performed an anonymous act of generosity
Skydived
Tied a bow tie by yourself
Won a trophy
Rode a motorcycle twice the speed limit
Your score:
If you said "yes" 10 or less times -- you need to get out more.
If you said "yes" between 11 and 20 times -- you're cool. You've suffered pain, embarrassment and success.
If you said "yes" between 21 and 30 times -- you are a better man than most. Good luck with the rest of the list.
If you said "yes" between 31 and 40 times, you rule! You are the man!

the latest one second classic guesses!!!!

2008-12-08T00:41:00.001-08:00

hi all,

still no correct answers - these are the latest guesses

have a go yourself after 8 any morning

john

14cds
phil collins - you can hurry love
tina turner - river deep mountain high
edison lighthouse - love grows where my rosemary goes

15cds
bruce springsteen - glory days
wham - wake me up before you gogo
beatles - penny lane

16cds
queen
whitney houston - quen of the night
shirly bassey - hey big spender

17 cds
phil collins - can't hurry love
fergal sharkey - a good heart
national express - divine comedy

18cds
i have a dream
footloose
billy ocean - get out of my dreams

19 cds

tell her about it - billy joel
sex bomb - tom jones

1 second classic

2008-12-01T00:18:00.001-08:00

here are the guesses so far - best of luck!!!!

5cds
congratulations - cliff richard

6 cds
hey big spender
sledgehammer
girls aloud - the promise

7cds
elton john i'm still standing

8cds
leann rimes - can't stop the moonlight

9 cds
tine turner - rag doll
europe - the final countdown

10cds
tom jones/cerys matthews
phil collins - in the air tonight
tony christie - amarillo

11 cds
pet shop boys - it's a sin
tom jones - it's not unusual
diana ross

12 cds
robbie williams - rock dj
westlife
shakin stevens = ths ole house

13 cds

shine take that

jive bunny - twist again

14cds
phil collins - you can hurry love
tina turner - river deep mountain high
edison lighthouse - love grows where my rosemary goes

The X Factor Drinking Game

2008-11-28T00:21:00.003-08:00

Hi Gang,

as promised, here's the x-factor drinking game

remember - drink sensibly and don't play this game if you're not over 18

talk to you on the radio

jmcd

It's a freezing cold December night, there's nothing on at the movies and everyone's saving their cash because it's nearly Christmas. So what else better could you do with your Saturday evening than crack open a few bottles of red wine/vodka/beer and participate in Digital Spy's X Factor drinking game! Feel free to play along, but don't blame us if there's any sore heads come Sunday.

Rule One - Knock back a shot of your favourite tipple every time you see a granny in the audience wearing a cheap T-shirt with a contestant's face plastered on the front.

Rule Two - Chug some beer each time Dermot or Simon claims it's the "toughest week yet" or "closest competition ever".

Rule Three - Knock back some vodka on each occasion Louis Walsh wobbles his head like the Churchill dog and tells a contestant: "You...should...be...in...the final!"

Rule Four - Knock back even more if any judge utters the words "sack your mentor" or "the song was too big for you".

Rule Five - Have two drinks when Simon makes a suggestive comment about Ruth Lorenzo's dress, boobs or what she's doing with the microphone.

Rule Six - Take a sip whenever you see Diana Vickers doing her 'wavy hands' dance.

Rule Seven - Drink once for every reference to Eoghan Quigg being "cute" and having "Irish charm".

Rule Eight - Have two shots for every contestant that discusses their "journey" or whenever any of them says: "If I don't up my game this week, I could be going home!"

Rule Nine - Make yourself a tasty cocktail whenever Simon or Dermot make an unsubtle comment about Louis's sexuality.

Rule Ten - Help yourself to a large rum and coke if Cheryl breaks into tears during the final showdown.

Rule Eleven - Wash it down with a whiskey chaser if Simon teases: "I didn't like it.... I loved it!"

Rule Twelve - Down your entire drinks selection if Cheryl Cole and Dannii Minogue at any point dare to crack a smile or share a conversation with each other.

Today's Pyschobabble

2008-07-23T09:41:00.001-07:00

Hi all,

here's today pyscho-babble - let me know if it pyscho-babble or pyscho-fact?

John

WHAT YOUR BIRTH NUMBER?

The birth date describes who we are, what we are good at and what our inborn abilities are. It also points to what we have to learn and the challenges we are facing. To figure out your "birth number," add all the numbers in the birth date together like in the example until there is only one digit. The "birth number" does not prevent you from being anything you want, it will just color your choice differently.

Example: March 20, 1950. 3+20+1950 = 1973. 1+9+7+3 = 20. 2+0 = 2. 2 then becomes the "birth number."

Number 1: The Originator -- 1's are originals. Coming up with new ideas and executing them is natural. Having things their own way is another trait that gets them labeled as being stubborn and arrogant. 1's are extremely honest and do well to learn some diplomacy skills. They like to take the initiative and are often leaders or bosses, as they like to be the best. Being self-employed is definitely helpful for them. Lesson to learn: Others' ideas might be just as good or better and to stay open minded. Famous 1's: Tom Hanks, Robert Redford, Hulk Hogan, Carol Burnett, Wynona Judd, Nancy Reagan, and Raquel Welch.

Number 2: The Peacemaker -- 2's are the born diplomats. They aware of others' needs and moods and often think of others before themselves. Naturally analytical and very intuitive they don't like to be alone. Friendship and companionship is very important and can lead them to be successful in life, but on the other hand they'd rather be alone than in an uncomfortable relationship. Being naturally shy they should learn to boost their self-esteem and express themselves freely and seize the moment and not put things off. Famous 2's: President Bill Clinton, Madonna, Whoppie Goldberg, Thomas Edison, and Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.

Number 3: The Life Of The Party -- 3's are idealists. They are very creative, social, charming, romantic, and easy going. They start many things, but don't always see them through. They like others to be happy and go to great lengths to achieve it. They are very popular and idealistic. They should learn to see the world from a more realistic point of view. Famous 3's: Alan Alda, Ann Landers, Bill Crosby, Melanie Griffith, Salvador Dali, and Jody Foster.

Number 4: The Conservative -- 4's are sensible and traditional. They like order and routine. They only act when they fully understand what they are expected to do. They like getting their hands dirty and working hard. They are attracted to the outdoors and feel an affinity with nature. They are prepared to wait and can be stubborn and persistent. They should learn to be more flexible and to be nice to themselves. Famous 4's: Neil Diamond, Margaret Thatcher, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tina Turner, Paul Hogan, and Oprah Winfrey.

Number 5: The Nonconformist -- 5's are the explorers. Their natural curiosity, risk taking, and enthusiasm often lands them in hot water. They need diversity, and don't like to be stuck in a rut. The whole world is their school and they see a learning possibility in every situation. The questions never stop. They are well advised to look before they take action and make sure they have all the facts before jumping to conclusions. Famous 5's: Abraham Lincoln, Charlotte Bronte, Jessica Walter, Vincent VanGogh, Bette Midler, Helen Keller and Mark Hamill.

Number 6: The Romantic -- 6's are idealistic and need to feel useful to be happy. A strong family connection is important to them. Their emotions influence their decisions. They have a strong urge to take care of others and to help. They are very loyal and make great teachers. They like art or music. They make loyal friends who take the friendship seriously. 6's should learn to differentiate between what they can change and what they cannot. Famous 6's: Albert Einstein, Jane Seymour, John Denver, Meryl Streep, Christopher Columbus, and Goldie Hawn.

Number 7: The Intellectual -- 7's are the searchers. Always probing for hidden information, they find it difficult to accept things at face value. Emotions don't sway their decisions. Questioning everything in life, they don't like to be questioned themselves. They're never off to a fast start, and their motto is slow and steady wins the race. They come across as philosophers and being very knowledgeable, and sometimes as loners. They are technically inclined and make great reserachers uncovering information. They like secrets. They live in their own world and should learn what is acceptable and what not in the world at large. Famous 7's: William Shakespeare, Lucille Ball, Michael Jackson, Joan Baez, and Princess Diana.

Number 8: The Big Shot -- They are the problem solvers. They are professional, blunt and to the point, have good judgement and are decisive. They have grandiose plans and like to live the good life. They are take charge people. They view people objectively. They let you know in no uncertain terms that they are the boss.They should learn to base their decisions on their own needs rather thats on what others want. Famous 8's: Edgar Cayce, Barbra Streisand, George Harrison, Jane Fonda, Pablo Picasso, Aretha Franklin, and Nostrodamus.

Number 9: The Performer -- 9's are natural entertainers. They are very caring and generous, giving away their last dollar to help. With their charm, they have no problem making friends and nobody is a stranger to them. They have so many different personalities that people around them have a hard time understanding them. They are like chameleons, ever changing and blending in. They have tremendous luck, but also can suffer from extremes in fortune and mood. To be successful, they need to build a loving foundation. Famous 9's: Albert Schweitzer, Shirley MacLaine, Harrison Ford, Gloria Steinem, Jimmy Carter, and Elvis Presley.

A new take on the price of Petrol!!!

2008-07-03T11:59:00.000-07:00

Hi all,

Thought you might like this!! A little bit of levity about the current oil prices

John

Our New Mascot

2008-06-30T12:35:00.001-07:00

So this is what Clara brought back from her hols. see if you can come up with a name for our mascot!

cheers

john

Lo and Behold ------ The Mankini

2008-06-24T12:23:00.000-07:00

So, this is the mankini - tell us the truth - would you wear one??? would you walk beside someone wearing one. post a reply!

talk to you in the morning

john

annoying office speak

2008-06-17T12:06:00.000-07:00

let's run this up the flagpole and see if we can get the chorus singing going forward!

yes! annoying office speak where companies come up with absolute babble

50 office-speak phrases you love to hate

found this on the bbc website

talk to you on the radio
JmcD

. Here, we list 50 of the best worst examples.
1. "When I worked for Verizon, I found the phrase going forward to be more sinister than annoying. When used by my boss - sorry, "team leader" - it was understood to mean that the topic of conversation was at an end and not be discussed again."
Nima Nassefat, Vancouver, Canada

2. "My employers (top half of FTSE 100) recently informed staff that we are no longer allowed to use the phrase brain storm because it might have negative connotations associated with fits. We must now take idea showers . I think that says it all really."
Anonymous, England

3. At my old company (a US multinational), anyone involved with a particular product was encouraged to be a product evangelist . And software users these days, so we hear, want to be platform atheists so that their computers will run programs from any manufacturer."
Philip Lattimore, Thailand

4. " Incentivise is the one that does it for me."
Karl Thomas, Perth, Scotland

5. "My favourite which I hear from the managers at the bank I work for is let's touch base about that offline . I think it means have a private chat but I am still not sure."
Gemma, Wolverhampton, England

6. "Have you ever heard the term loop back which means go back to an associate and deal with them?"
Scott Reed, Lakeland, Florida, US

7-8. "We used to collect the jargon used in a list and award the person with the most at the end of the year. The winner was a client manager with the classic you can't turn a tanker around with a speed boat change . What? Second was we need a holistic, cradle-to-grave approach , whatever that is."
Turner, Manchester

9. "Until recently I had to suffer working for a manager who used phrases such as the idiotic I've got you in my radar in her speech, letters and e-mails. Once, when I mentioned problems with the phone system, she screamed 'NO! You don't have problems, you have challenges'. At which point I almost lost the will to live."
Stephen Gradwick, Liverpool

10. "You can add challenge to the list. Problems are no longer considered problems, they have morphed into challenges."
Irene MacIntyre, Courtenay, B

11. "Business speak even supersedes itself and does so with silliness, the shorthand for quick win is now low hanging fruit ."
Paul, Formby, UK

12. "And looking under the bonnet ."
Eve Russell, Edinburgh

13-14. "The business-speak that I abhor is pre-prepare and forward planning . Is there any other kind of preparedness or planning?"
Edward Creswick, Exeter

15-16. "The one that really gets me is pre-plan - there is no such thing. Either you plan or you don't. The new one which has got my goat is conversate , widely used to describe a conversation. I just wish people could learn to 'think outside the box' although when they put us in cubes what do they expect?"
Malcolm, Houston

17. "I work in one of those humble call centres for a bank. Apparently, what we're doing at the moment is sprinkling our magic along the way. It's a call centre, not Hogwarts."
Caroline Garlick, Ayrshire

18. "A pet hate is the utterly pointless expression in this space . So instead of the perfectly adequate 'how can I help?' it's 'how can I help in this space?' Or the classic I heard on Friday, 'How can we help our customers in this space going forward?' I think I may have caught this expression at source, as I've yet to hear it said outside my own working environment. So I'm on a personal crusade to stamp it out before it starts infecting other City institutions. Wish me luck in this space."
Colin, London

19. "The one phrase that inspires a rage in me is from the get-go ."
Andy, Herts

20. "'Going forward' is only half the phrase that gets up my nose - all politicians seem to use the phrase go forward together . 'We must... we shall... let us now... go forward together'. It gives me a terrible mental image of the whole country linking arms and goose-stepping in unison, with the politicians out in front doing a straight-armed salute. Is it just me?"
Frances Smith, Toronto, Canada

21. "I am a financial journalist and am on a mission to remove words and phrases such as 360-degree thinking from existence."
Richard, London

22. "The latest that's stuck in my head is we are still optimistic things will feed through the sales and delivery pipeline (ie: we actually haven't sold anything to anyone yet but maybe we will one day)."
Alexander, Southampton

23. "I worked in PR for many years and often heard the most ludicrous phrases uttered by CEOs and marketing managers. One of the best was, we'd better not let the grass grow too long on this one . To this day it still echoes in my ears and I giggle to myself whenever I think about it. I can't help but think insecure business people use such phrases to cover up their inability for proper articulation."
Leon Reilly, Ealing, London

24. "Need to get all my ducks in a row now - before the five-year-olds wake up."
Mark Dixon, Bridgend

25. "Australians have started to use auspice as a verb. Instead of saying, 'under the auspices of...', some people now say things like, it was auspiced by... "
Martin Pooley, Marrickville, Australia

26. "My favourite: we've got our fingers down the throat of the organisation of that nodule . Translation = Er, no, WE sorted out the problems to cover your backside."
Theo de Bray, Kettering, UK

27. "The health service in Wales is filled with managers who use this type of language as a substitute for original thought. At meetings we play health-speak bingo; counting the key words lightens the tedium of meetings - including, most recently, my door is open on this issue . What does that mean?"
Edwin Pottle, Llandudno

28-29. "The business phrase I find most irritating is close of play , which is only slightly worse than actioning something."
Ellie, London

30. "Here in the US we have the cringe-worthy and also in addition . Then there's the ever-eloquent 'where are we at?' So far, I haven't noticed the UK's at the end of the day prefacing much over here; thank heavens for small mercies."
Eithne B, Chicago, US

31. "The expression that drives me nuts is 110% , usually said to express passion/commitment/support by people who are not very good at maths. This has created something of a cliche-inflation, where people are now saying 120%, 200%, or if you are really REALLY committed, 500%. I remember once the then-chancellor Gordon Brown saying he was 101% behind Tony Blair, to which people reacted 'What? Only 101?'"
Ricardo Molina, London, UK

32. "My least favourite business-speak term is not enough bandwidth . When an employee used this term to refuse an additional assignment, I realised I was completely 'out of the loop'."
April, Berkeley, US

33. "I once had a boss who said, ' You can't have your cake and eat it, so you have to step up to the plate and face the music .' It was in that moment I knew I had to resign before somebody got badly hurt by a pencil."
Tim, Durban

34. " Capture your colleagues - make sure everyone attends that risk management workshop (compulsory common sense training for idiots)."
Anglowelsh, UK

35-37. "We too used to have daily paradigm shifts , now we have stakeholders who must come to the party or be left out, or whatever."
Barry Hicks, Cape Town, RSA

38. "I have taken to playing buzzword bingo when in meetings. It certainly makes it more entertaining when I am feeding it back (or should that be cascading ) at work."
Ian Everett, Bolton

39. "In my work environment it's all cascading at the moment. What they really mean is to communicate or disseminate information, usually downwards. What they don't seem to appreciate is that it sounds like we're being wee'd on. Which we usually are."
LMD, London

40. "At a large media company where I once worked, the head of human resources - itself a weaselly neologism for personnel - told us that she would be cascading down new information to staff. What she meant was she was going to send them a memo. It was one of the reasons I resigned - that, and the fact that the chief exec persisted on referring to the company as a really cool train set ."
Andrew, London

41. "Working for an American corporation, this year's favourite word seems to be granularity , meaning detail. As in 'down to that level of granularity'."
Chris Daniel, Anaco, Venezuela

42. "On the wall of our office we have a large signed certificate, signed by all the senior management team, in which they solemnly promise to leverage their talents, display and inspire 'unyielding integrity', and lots of other pretentious buzz-phrases like that. Clueless, the lot of them."
Chris K, Cheltenham UK

43. "After a reduction in workforce , my university department sent this notice out to confused campus customers: 'Thank you for your note. We are assessing and mitigating immediate impacts, and developing a high-level overview to help frame the conversation with our customers and key stakeholders. We intend to start that process within the week. In the meantime, please continue to raise specific concerns or questions about projects with my office via the Transition Support Center..."
Charles R, Seattle, Washington, US

44. "I was told I'd be living the values from now on by my employers at a conference the other week. Here's some modern language for them - meh. A shame as I strongly believe in much of what my employers aim to do. I refuse to adopt the voluntary sectors' client title of 'service user'. How is someone who won't so much as open the door to me using my service? Another case of using four syllables where one would do."
Upscaled Blue-Sky thinker, Cardiff

45. "Business talk 2.0 is maddening, meaningless, patronising and I despise it."
Doug, London

46. "Lately I've come across the strategic staircase . What on earth is this? I'll tell you; it's office speak for a bit of a plan for the future. It's not moving on but moving up. How strategic can a staircase really be? A lot I suppose, if you want to get to the top without climbing over all your colleagues."
Peter Walters, Cheadle Hulme, UK

47. "When a stock market is down why must we be told it is in negative territory ?"
Phil Linehan, Mexico City, Mexico

48. "The particular phrase I love to hate is drill down , which handily can be used either as an adverb/verb combo or as a compound noun, ie: 'the next level drill-down', sometimes even in the same sentence - a nice bit of multi-tasking."
B, London

49. "Thanks for the impactful article; I especially appreciated the level of granularity. A high altitude view often misses the siloed thinking typical of most businesses. Absent any scheme for incentivitising clear speech, however, I'm afraid we're stuck with biz-speak."
Timothy Denton, New York

50. "It wouldn't do the pinstripers any harm to crack a smile and say what they really felt once in a while instead of trotting out such clinical platitudes. Of course a group of them may need to workshop it first: Wouldn't want to wrongside the demographic ."
Trick Cyclist, Tripoli, Libya

Our Garden Makeover Competition

2008-06-16T03:53:00.000-07:00

So the entries are coming in thick and fast. We have a 2,000 euro makeover. This is the Sexton garden and it's one of the entries. Remember, closing date is Friday so get the entries in by email or post!

The Pig Drawing Test!!!

2008-05-24T05:54:00.000-07:00

Hi All,

Just in case you missed this on Thursday and Friday, I asked you to draw a doodle of a pig - saying that how you drew the doodle said something about your personality. most of you thought that there was something to it.

draw it and see for yourself

The pig drawing serves as a useful test of the personality traits of the drawer.......

If the pig is drawn to the top of the paper, you are positive and optimistic.

Towards the middle, you are realistic

Towards the bottom, you are pessimistic and have a tendency to behave negatively.

If the pig is facing left, you believe in tradition, are friendly and remember dates (birthdays etc)

Facing right, you are innovative and active, but don't have a strong sense of family, nor do you always remember dates.

Facing front (looking at you), you are direct, enjoy playing devil's advocate and neither fear nor avoid discussions

With lots of details, you are analytical, cautious and distrustful.

With few details, you are emotional and naive, you care little for details and are a risk taker.

With less than 4 legs showing, you are insecure or are living through a period of major change.

With 4 legs showing, you are secure, stubborn and stick to your ideals

If you have drawn more than 4 legs, you are stupid.

The size of the ears indicates how good a listener you are. The bigger the better.

The length of the tail indicates the quality of your sex life, and once again the longer, the better.....

Mother in Laws!!!

2008-05-19T09:13:00.000-07:00

So, we were talking about mother in law jokes and why there isn't any father in law jokes!! bit sexist that!!!

on the subject of mother in laws, we found this

CONVERSATION STARTERS
Woman's Day and AOL asked: "What's your relationship with your mother-in-law like?"
• 46% said "it's perfectly comfortable, but we don't exactly spend hours on the phone gabbing.
• 20% said "I can't stand the woman."
• 20% said "she is deceased."
• 14% said "she's just like my own mother."
They also asked folks to "Rate your own mother."
• 49% said "She did the best she could."
• 34% said "She was an excellent mom."
• 17% said "She wasn't very good at it."
• One celeb that you'd like to send into space.
• What's your one guilty pleasure when it comes to high-calorie food?\

Men and Crying at Movies

2008-02-05T12:25:00.000-08:00

So the early morning text topic was about movies that men have cried at. Myself and Liam admitted that there were a couple that we had a bit of tear at - or was that dust in my eye?!!

Feel free to add to the list

• "Legends of the Fall" (1994)
• "The Notebook" (2005)
• "Rudy" (1993)
• "Saving Private Ryan" (1998)
• "Titanic" (1997)
• "Dead Poets Society" (1989)
• "Gladiator" (2000)

JmcD

Now we've heard everything

2008-01-30T13:06:00.000-08:00

well, as you know, the world markets have been taking a battering - we've heard a lot of excuses - american downturn, rogue french traders but this excuse tops the lot!!!!!

Bull's bottom bugs Bombay brokers
By Karishma Vaswani
BBC News, Mumbai

Indian brokers at the Bombay Stock Exchange are calling on the authorities to bring in religious experts to change the direction of a bronze bull statue.
They say the posterior of the bull, placed at the footsteps of the exchange building, points towards the traders which makes it inauspicious.

It has been a tough time for financial markets around the world with bourses being volatile recently.

Brokers in Mumbai have been hard hit with the sharp falls in share prices.

This has left them extremely concerned and worried.

Symbol of optimism

Some of the Bombay brokers are convinced that the root of all their troubles lies with the five-foot-tall bronze bull.

They want the religious experts to consult astrological charts to see if its rear end should point in a more auspicious direction.

The bronze bull - a symbol of this market's optimism and previously soaring fortunes - was put in place on 12 January by the Bombay Stock Exchange's management team.

Unfortunately for them, it coincided with some of the worst falls in Indian shares in recent years.

When contacted by the BBC, the exchange said it had no plans for now to seek astrological advice on the bull.

Story from BBC NEWS:

the jumbocopter takes to the air

2008-01-25T00:51:00.000-08:00

well, the weather eased off and we were able to get off the air in our jumbocopter. we were in westmeath this morning and checked out the major towns. next week, we're going to be flying over Laois!!!

cheers,

John and Robbie

Robbie's Beard is no more!!!!

2008-01-23T11:16:00.000-08:00

Unbelieveably, Robbie shaved off his beard and the worst was that he did it by accident!!! - apparently sitting in the bath, casually starts shaving forgetting that he was growing the beard. and he's the smart one of our duo!!!!

john

the man bag!!!!

2008-01-23T11:05:00.000-08:00

hi all,

so we were talking about the contents of ladies handbags and the subject of man bags came up - so here's a picture of my man bag with our bag model - clara. Clara is our link to the sisterhood!!!

cheers

John

The Update on Robbie's Beard

2008-01-22T13:14:00.000-08:00

Hi All,

here's robbie's beard - tell us what you think of it

Women Secret's

2008-01-21T10:17:00.000-08:00

Hi all,

so, clara was on the news this morning and we tested out these secrets - guess what! clara had to admit that most of these were right - i'll let you work out the right ones

cheers

John

SECRETS ALL WOMEN KEEP
You may think you know your wife better than anyone, but chances are she has at least one don't-tell-the-husband secret. Redbook deputy editor Jeannie Kim writes that all womankind has 11 near-universal secrets, some of which will shock men and some of which they'll realize they suspected all along. Here they are:
1. Everything a woman buys for herself--from shoes to skirts and even shampoo -- really costs 20 percent more than she tells you.
2. She actually thinks about sex--with you--a lot. (It's just that by the end of the day she's too tired to do anything about it.)
3. She is just as nervous about commitment as you are.
4. She may be modern and independent, but she still wants you to be "the man."
5. Her ex-boyfriends were not completely terrible in bed.
6. She is scared that she'll turn into her mother. (So the worst insult you can throw at the woman you love is, "You're acting just like your mother.")
7. She wants you to be jealous--but just a little bit.
8. Yes, she fantasizes about hot celebrity guys, but that doesn't mean she wants you to be one of them.
9. She tells her girlfriends more than she will ever admit to you (but less than you fear).
10. She really does notice and appreciate all the chores you do.
11. She loves you with all her heart, but she still gets wistful about the fact that she'll never feel that falling-in-love sizzle and spark again.

ROBBIE'S BEARD!!!

2008-01-18T11:04:00.000-08:00

Hi All,

Here is the latest photo of robbie's beard - let us know what you think!!!

here's some more about how you can now use technology to understand the bark of your dog

cheers

john and robbie

Computer can help your dog communicate
Wed Jan 16, 2008 8:41am EST
BUDAPEST (Reuters) - Hungarian scientists are working on computer software analyzing dog barks that could allow people to better recognize dogs' basic emotions, Hungarian ethologist Csaba Molnar said.
Molnar and his colleagues at Budapest's ELTE University have tested software which distinguishes the emotional reaction of 14 dogs of the Hungarian Mudi herding breed to six situations: When the dog is alone, when it sees a ball, it fights, it plays, it encounters a stranger or it goes for a walk.
"A possible commercial application could be a device for dog-human communication," the scientist told Reuters.
The computer correctly recognized the emotional reaction of the dogs based on their barks and yelps in 43 percent of the cases. People had judged correctly in 40 percent of cases.
Scientists said the software could be improved. Molnar said the Hungarian scientists' research provided further proof that different types of dog barks convey messages humans can understand even if they had no experience with dogs. (Reporting by Sandor Peto)

50th anniversary for the smurfs

2008-01-16T09:51:00.000-08:00

hi all,

we were celebrating the 50th anniversary of the smurfs today - here's some smurf facts for you - go on, get in touch with your inner child

john and robbie

The late cartoonist Pierre Culliford - best known by his pen name, "Peyo" - first introduced the tiny blue figures in a comic strip in October 1958. He called them Schtroumpf; they became known worldwide as the Smurfs.

The Smurfs, forest dwellers who live in little white-capped mushroom homes, developed their own "Smurf" language in which nouns and verbs were interchanged.
Their debut on U.S. television in 1981 launched their global rise to stardom and made the Smurfs a household name. A Smurf is a Pitufo in Spanish, a Schlumpf in German, Nam Ching Ling to the Chinese, a Sumafa in Japan and Dardassim in Hebrew.

To mark 50 years of Smurfdom, organizers are planning everything from a 3-D animation feature film expected to be released next year to new comic book collections and a remastered release of the popular 1980s television animated series, Peyo's family said.

The Smurfs also will team up with the UNICEF to promote children's rights and education worldwide, said Yves Willemont of UNICEF Belgium.

The Smurfs appeared as a supporting cast of characters in Peyo's 1958 Johan and Pirlouit cartoon, which was set in the Middle Ages. The Smurfs quickly grew in popularity and by 1960, the Smurfs had their own comic strip series and. With the help of the Hanna-Barbera Productions, the Smurfs became an animated cartoon in 1981.
Thierry Culliford said the Smurfs promote love and friendship. He said many who grew up watching the Smurfs on TV during the 1980s and 1990s now are parents and want to introduce the Smurfs to their children.

New Words!!!!

2008-01-14T10:26:00.000-08:00

Hi all,

well, clara had her first morning with us and we looked at some of the new words that made their appearance in 2007.

cheers

john and robbie

website today was www.goldenglobes.org

couply
adjective Colloquial 1. suited to a couple: a couply movie. 2. indicative of an established couple: matching clothes are so couply.

floordrobe
noun Colloquial (humorous) a floor littered with discarded clothes, viewed ironically as a clothing storage system. [floor + (war)drobe]

man flu
noun Colloquial (humorous) a minor cold contracted by a man who proceeds to exaggerate the symptoms enormously.

salad dodger
noun Colloquial (derogatory) an overweight person.

manscaping
noun a grooming procedure in which hair is shaved or trimmed from a man's body, as from the back, legs, chest, genitals, etc. [man + (land)scap(e) + -ing]

tanorexia
noun an obsessive desire to have tanned skin, placing the sufferer at risk of skin cancer. [tan + (an)orexica (nervosa)]
–tanorexic, adjective, noun

password fatigue
noun a level of frustration reached by having too many different passwords to remember, resulting in an inability to remember even those most commonly used

kipper
noun Colloquial an adult child still living in the home of his or her parents, often as a result of pressure in the housing market. [singular backformation from the acronym KIPPERS (K(ids) I(n) P(arents') P(ockets) E(roding) R(etirement) S(avings)) perceived as a plural form]

pod slurping
noun the downloading of large quantities of data to an MP3 player or memory stick from a computer

Or if the global credit crunch is hitting home, you may be tempted into becoming a "credit card tart," or someone who shifts loans around from one credit card to pay for another.

Another photo of Robbie

2008-01-11T09:36:00.000-08:00

hi all,

Robbie wasn't happy with the photo being sideways so, here it is the right way around!!!

also

here is today's pyscho babble - guess which one Stephanie was!!!

todays website - www.mrbreakfast.com

HOW YOU UNDRESS REVEALS YOUR PERSONALITY

People are usually judged by how they dress. But how about how they undress? "How a person takes off his or her clothes and what they do with those clothes can reveal quite a bit about one's personality," Dr. Jane Greer, a New York psychotherapist and author of "How Can You Do This To Me?" "These six styles of shedding your clothes can help you get to know yourself better."

The Tosser -- If you throw your clothes all over the place, you're friendly, the life of the party type. Although others may think you're a slob, you're really a happy individual who doesn't care what others think.
The Neatnik -- If you remove each piece of clothing and put it away immediately, you may believe that the best way of solving life's problem is to prevent them in the first place. You're dependable, sometimes intense, and you know how to pay attention.
The Dabbler -- If you take off your pants and get around to taking off your skirt 10 minutes later, you are a deep thinker who ponders the meaning of life. You don't like being rushed. Having free time is most important.
The Sprinter -- If you shed your clothing as quickly as possible, you're a busy person who often feels stressed. However, you may also be a passionate person who wants to change quickly in order to have fun.
The Jeweler -- If you take off your jewelry before anything else, you're a warm and sensitive person. You are considerate and romantic, thoughtful and a good friend.
The Adventurer -- If you don't have an undressing routine, or you never do it the same way twice, bravo. You enjoy a broad range of activities and take risks. You're a sociable, fun-loving individual

Robbie's Beard!!!

2008-01-10T11:59:00.001-08:00

Hi all,

so, this is robbie's beard!! tell us what you think!!!!

Jmcd

We want you to live longer!!!!

2008-01-09T12:48:00.000-08:00

hi all,

here's a little way for you to live longer!

5 Ways to Add Years to Your Life
Live 22 years longer with these simple steps
By: Alison Granell
1. Next time you're asked "Soup or salad?" order the salad.
+2 years
Italian researchers found that eating as little as 1 cup of raw vegetables daily can add 2 years to your life. Why raw? Cooking can deplete up to 30 percent of the antioxidants in vegetables.

2. Learn the Law of Lard: The fat you carry today could kill you tomorrow.
+3 years
University of Alabama researchers discovered that maintaining a body-mass index of 25 to 35 can shorten your life by up to 3 years. (Excess body fat raises your risk of diabetes, heart disease, stroke, and colon cancer.)

3. Crack open a fresh can of nuts and extend your expiration date.
+3 years
When Loma Linda University researchers tracked the lifestyle habits of 34,000 Seventh-Day Adventists—a population famous for its longevity—they discovered that those who munched nuts 5 days a week, earned an extra 2.9 years on the planet.

4. Never forget that your buddies have your back--even when it's hunched over from osteoporosis.
+7 years
In a study of seventysomethings, Australian researchers found that those with the largest network of friends had the longest lease on life. For the average guy, this could add up to 7 additional years of existence.

5. Repeat after us: "There is life after retirement."
+7 1/2 years
Or at least that's what you'd better believe if you want to live that long. In a Yale University study of older adults, people with a positive outlook on the aging process lived more than 7 years longer than those who felt doomed to deteriorating mental and physical health.

famous lines from movies that weren't!!!!!!

2008-01-08T10:23:00.001-08:00

hi guys,

today's website - www.timelineindex.com

also, for the movie fans!

I NEVER SAID THAT!
Things never actually said in classic movies: http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2007/10/17/1192300857675.html
• Dracula: I want to suck your blood! Used for humor in Tim Burton's 1994 Ed Wood.
• Star Wars: "May the force be with you" Obi never said it, but Han Solo did!
• Cagney: "You dirty rat!" He did say "Mmm, that dirty, double-crossin' rat"!
• Snow White: "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?" Actual quote: Magic Mirror on the Wall, who is the Fairest one of all?"
• Shatner: "Beam Me Up Scotty" This one is kind of a reach: "Scotty, Beam me up!"
• Apollo 13: "Houston, we have a problem Also sometimes misquoted as: "Houston, we've got a problem." Both are wrong. The correct historical phrase was: "Houston, we've had a problem."
• "Say hello to my little friend" has been said in more adult movies than in "Scarface."

cheers
John and Robbie

what do motorists worry about?

2008-01-07T10:04:00.000-08:00

our website today - www.pogo.co.uk

The top fear (43%) both men and women have while driving is getting lost. That's the word from Fodor's Road Guides USA, the publishers of those popular travel guides. What else do we fear when we travel on the road? According to the survey:

27% worry they'll lock their keys in the car
24% fear they'll run out of gas
3% admit they worry about forgetting where they parked
3% worry about not having enough money for the toll booth

National Trivia Day

2008-01-04T04:45:00.000-08:00

Hi All,
well today is national trivia day - so, we've included some trivia for you to impress family, friends and loved ones!!
Robbie and John

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than for the U.S. Treasury.

Hawaiian alphabet has 12 letters.

Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better.

There's a 50% chance that an American lives within 50 miles of where they grew up.

Hong Kong is the city with the most Rolls Royce's.

Alaska has the highest percentage of people who walk to wor.

28% of Africa that is wilderness. 38% of North America is wilderness.

44% of American adults who go on diet each year.

The average West German goes without washing his underwear for 7 days.

Hallmark makes cards for 105 different family relationships.

It costs about $6400 to raise a medium-size dog to the age of eleven.

The average number of people airborne over the U.S. any given hour is 61,000.

70% of Americans who have visited Disneyland or Disney World.

The average life span of a major league baseball is 7 pitches.

One third of potatoes sold are french fried.

7% of Americans eat at McDonald's every day.

James Buchanon was the only U.S. president to remain a bachelor.

Antarctica is the only continent without reptiles or snakes.

The pig is the only animal besides human that can get sunburned.

Ostriches stick their heads in the sand to look for water.

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.

Mark Twain didn't complete elementary school.

Proportional to their weight, men are stronger than horses.

Jupiter is bigger than all the other planets in our solar system combined.

Hot water is heavier than cold.

Cream does not weigh as much as milk.

Iceland consumes more Coca-cola per capita than any other nation.

Heinz catsup leaving the bottle travels at 25 miles per year.

It is possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs.

Men get hiccups more often than women.

The World is Going to End!!!!

2008-01-03T03:24:00.000-08:00

Apparently, the world is going to end in 2012. Check out the website below and read more about it.

"The highly intelligent Ancient Mayan civilization developed an intricate calendar which anticipated the end of their Great Cycle of the Long Count, better known as the apocalypse on December 21, 2012." Of course, there is a Web site devoted to this perdition which features information, merchandise, and a "believers list." Visit December 21, 2012 to see for yourself.

http://www.december212012.com/

some psycho-babble for the new year

2008-01-02T08:02:00.000-08:00

this is today's pyscho-babble personality test for today

cheers

john

HOW'S YOUR FIRST IMPRESSION?

(Sun) A first impression can influence everything from a potential friendship to a job interview. Do you know what impact you have when you meet someone new? Find out by taking this quiz:

People say your best feature is your:

a Eyes
b Skin
c Smile

When seated next to a stranger at dinner, you:

a Start a conversation on general topics.
b Share tidbits about your life.
c Ask questions about him or her.

Your posture is usually:

a Slightly slumped.
b Ramrod straight.
c Relaxed but correct.

Your favorite party outfit is:

a Trendy and stylish.
b Plain but in a vibrant color.
c Classic and a neutral color.

Analysis:

Mostly "a" - You have a sparkling personality that you accentuate with fashionable clothes and quirky observations. People know you're an original with a vivid imagination.

Mostly "b" - Your confident, self possessed manner marks you as a leader. People appreciate your honesty and are drawn to your ability to present strong opinions with grace and insight.

Mostly "c" - Your generous, warm soul is instantly apparent at a first meeting. That's because you care enough about others to listen closely while projecting a sincere interest.

WE HAVE A WINNER!!!!!

2007-12-24T01:57:00.000-08:00

Well you voted and the Gavins of Thornsberry Estate have won the accolade of being the Best Decorated House in the Midlands. The vote was close upto the weekend but the votes started pouring in yesterday for the Gavins and they have won!

Well done to them and thanks to all the families that allowed us put up their houses for the vote. Thousands of you voted and thanks for taking the time to do it

lastly, have a great christmas and we'll talk to you again on Friday morning

john and robbie

VOTING FINISHES ON MONDAY AT 8AM

2007-12-20T01:40:00.000-08:00

Hi all,

the voting for the christmas house finishes on Monday at 8am. Remember, it's one person, one vote. We'll only be counting individual posts. All will be revealed on Monday's show on Christmas Eve

John and Robbie

our sixth house!!!

2007-12-20T01:36:00.000-08:00

Hi all,

Robbie was with the Farrells this morning in Bonavalley in Athlone. If you think that this is the best house then just post a reply

cheers

John and Robbie

Our Fifth House!!!

2007-12-19T01:48:00.000-08:00

We were in Portarlington this morning. Here's then photo of the McLoughlin house on the Dublin Road. If you want to vote, all you need is to post a reply to this post by clicking on the button below.

We're in Westmeath tomorrow

John and Robbie

our fourth house

2007-12-18T01:41:00.000-08:00

Hi All,

Well this is the O'Briens in Clara. Poor old Robbie had a bit of flu this morning but was still mightily impressed - if you would like to vote - just post a reply to this post. We're in Laois tomorrow - but where will we be - tune in to find out!!!!

cheers

JmcD

our third house!!

2007-12-17T09:00:00.000-08:00

robbie visited the Dunnes in Moate today. here's a photo of the house. they've raised a ton of money for the share a dream foundation. if you want to vote, just post a reply to this post.

cheers

john and robbie

our second house!!

2007-12-14T01:43:00.000-08:00

so this is our second house - the murrays in willow grove in mountmellick. if you want to vote, just post a reply to this posting by clicking the button below

we're in westmeath on monday - but where

talk to you on monday

john and robbie

Our First Nomination for the Best Decorated House

2007-12-13T01:41:00.000-08:00

So Robbie went to our first house this morning - the Gavins at Thornsberry Estate in Tullamore. If you want to vote for the house - just post a reply at the bottom of this post

we'll be in laois tomorrow morning but where will we be????

john

are you on the a list??

2007-12-10T09:33:00.000-08:00

hi all,

we did this test on stephanie during the 7.30 chat this morning - see how did you get on???

jmcd

WILL YOU BE ON THE HOLIDAY PARTY A-LIST?

(Sun) It will soon be the season for holiday parties, and experts say your demeanor at a bash reveals clues to your personality. Discover why you are or aren't on the invitation list by answering the following questions:

You think the perfect house warming gift is:

a. A plant.
b. A humorous welcome mat.
c. Gossip about all the neighbors.

Your idea of a great party is:

a. A small group of dinner guests.
b. A rip roaring get together.
c. One where all you have to do is show up.

When the music starts, you:

a. Chat with the shy person in the corner.
b. Kick up your heels on the dance floor.
c. May do a partial striptease if you've had enough to drink.

Your favorite party outfit is:

a. Low key and feminine.
b. Something in a vivid color.
c. Whatever will draw the most attention.

Analysis:

Mostly "a" -- You're an outgoing person who takes the time to talk to everyone in the room. Your obvious interest in what others have to say makes you a winner.

Mostly "b" -- You're a bright light who can turn the dreariest party into a blast. Your clever conversation and sense of humor make you a welcome addition to any gathering.

Mostly "c" -- You're so self-obsessed that you rarely take the feelings or desires of others into account. So don't be surprised if you're all alone in your pursuit of the limelight.

Most "d" -- We don't think you were paying too much attention.

the brian cowen budget band!!

2007-12-06T07:50:00.000-08:00

Hi all,

a lot of requests for our song this morning. here's the lyrics for you

jmcd

We’re the brian cowen budget band
Budgeting away and we’re going grand
Giving and taking with each hand
Cos we’re the brian cowen budget band

Every December off we go,
Trying to keep the income tax low
annoying the shinners and the labour wets
Sure nobody’s listening to their moaning yeat

We’re the brian cowen budget band
Budgeting away and we’re going grand
Giving and taking with each hand
Cos we’re the brian cowen budget band

Bertie and Mary are nearly out the door
well it’s hitting the fan, can they take much more
in his posh suits and all the tribunal dirt
And she’s got the health services on red alert

We’re the brian cowen budget band
Budgeting away and we’re going grand
Giving and taking with each hand
Cos we’re the brian cowen budget band
Instrumental
-
I’ll put tax on pints and boobs that are fakes
in fact that’ll pay for bertie’s wake
soon enough, he’s going to fall
And they’ll call the Dail, the Brian Cowen Hall

We’re the brian cowen budget band
Budgeting away and we’re going grand
Giving and taking with each hand
Cos we’re the brian cowen budget band

I’ll be on the dail floor all night
George lee will be a depressing sight
Eddie Hobbs will be all gloom and doom
Somebody should slip them a magic mushroom

We’re the brian cowen budget band
Budgeting away and we’re going grand
Giving and taking with each hand
Cos we’re the brian cowen budget band

Yes We’re the brian cowen budget band

Caption Competition

2007-12-04T08:00:00.000-08:00

So, you know that i've been telling you about my friends in Dublin who have the chickens in the back garden. We're looking for a good caption for the photo. Post it as a reply and we'll rustle up some prize for the winning caption.

john mcd

christmas tree stuff

2007-12-04T04:44:00.000-08:00

hi all,

this was the item that we thought was a bit too saucy for the radio - hope you enjoy!!

jmcd

Christmas Tree Week -- The first full week in December. It's the perfect time to point out the differences between a Christmas Tree and a date.
• A Christmas tree is ready when you go to pick it up.
• A Christmas tree won't retaliate if you dump it after a month.
• You don't need a clever line to pick up a Christmas tree.
• You can fondle a tree before you take it home.
• A Christmas tree doesn't mind you looking under it.
• A Christmas tree doesn't become envious around bigger trees. This would be known as treeness envy.
• A Christmas tree doesn't go completely to pieces if you mishandle its balls.
• You don't have to worry about who else has had your tree.
• A Christmas tree doesn't worry about how many others you've had.
• A Christmas tree doesn't object to exotic electrical appliances.
• A Christmas tree doesn't think your a whacko if it finds an artificial tree in your closet.
• The tree doesn't get upset when you tie it up and put it in the trunk to take it home.

the truth about marriage!!!!

2007-12-02T13:00:00.000-08:00

Hi all,
have some fun with this!!!

jmcd

GLAMOUR'S THINGS NO ONE EVER TELLS YOU ABOUT BEING MARRIED
1. Getting married is not about the wedding.
2. You'll give up some independence and that's a good thing.
3. Husbands can't read minds any more than boyfriends can.
4. You won't be single anymore.
5. You never get to use the "I can't make it, I'm busy" excuse again.
6. Your husband will never take care of you the way your mom did and vice versa.
7. The "for worse" may come sooner than you expect.
8. You get to share your strengths.
9. The honeymoon phase isn't always sweet.
10. Be prepared to fight for his support.
11. In-laws will show you a side of your husband you would never see on your own.
12. When he does the dishes, you will get turned on.
13. The silliest things will make you fall in love with him all over again.
14. Married men are sexier than single men when they are married to you.
15. He'll love being married too.
________________________________________

how do you sleep?

2007-11-28T12:32:00.001-08:00

SLEEP POSITION REVEALS YOUR PERSONALITY

The position in which you sleep at night -- whether it's all curled up in a fetal position or sprawled out across the bed -- reveals your personality, according to research from Britain's Sleep Assessment and Advisory Service. Led by Chris Idzikowski, the team has identified six common sleep positions and the personalities of the people who sleep that way. "We are all aware of our body language when we are awake, but this is the first time we have been able to see what our subconscious says about us," he said. The six basic sleeping positions and the personality traits:

Crouched in the fetal position: Shy and sensitive
Soldier position flat on the back with arms at the sides: Quiet and reserved
On the side with legs outstretched and arms down: Social and easy-going
On the side with legs outstretched and arms outstretched: Suspicious
Flat on the tummy with hands at the sides of the head: Brash and gregarious
On the back with outstretched arms and legs: Unassuming and a good listener

Crouched in the fetal position is most common way to sleep, assumed by 51% of women. The most unusual is on the stomach with only 6.5% saying they sleep this way. Once we adopt a preferred sleeping position, we rarely change it.

from today's show

2007-11-27T13:38:00.000-08:00

we had a good chat with stephanie about some psychobabble - see if applies to you!!

PETS ARE BETTER COMPANY

A recent survey of dog and cat owners by insurance group Direct Line reveals that pets are better company than our mates:

Nine out of 10 animal lovers say that after a bad day, their pets make them feel like a million bucks.
86% of respondents say Fluffy or Rover helps relieve their stress and tension.
45% of women would rather be with their four-legged friends than hubbies or boyfriends.
30% of guys like their fuzzy pals better than their wives or girlfriends. Docs say our animal friends may even help us to live longer by lowering blood pressure

you couldn't make it up!!!!

2007-11-26T10:59:00.001-08:00

every friday, we do our 'mad world stories' - you couldn't make this up - it's from the bbc

More visitors hurt in Tate's hole
As many as 15 art lovers have been injured at London's Tate Modern since the opening of an installation which features a large crack in the floor.
The figure was cited by the Times newspaper, which said some visitors had sustained minor injuries after viewing Doris Salcedo's Shibboleth 2007.
Four accidents were reported to the Health and Safety Executive, it added.
The gallery said there had been only 10 reported incidents and "no serious injuries" despite 870,000 visitors.
"Tate has extensive experience of handling complex installations and takes issues of health and safety very seriously," the gallery said.
"Recent steps taken by Tate to manage visitor flow have significantly reduced the number of incidents."

I've got a cold!!!

2007-11-25T11:55:00.000-08:00

Hi Guys,

have a bit of a headcold today

here's the latest scientific blurb on head colds - tune in on Tuesday - we've got our country song face off - the devil went down to the midlands

THE COLD, HARD TRUTH
(Woman's Day) Each winter there are about 1 to 2 billion colds in the U.S., says Neil Schachter, M.D., professor of medicine and medical director of respiratory care at the Mount Sinai Medical Center and author of "The Good Doctor's Guide to Colds and Flu." To help you stay well, here are some reality checks on some common misconceptions:

·Old thinking -- Kissing spreads colds. Truth is you're more likely to get a cold from a handshake than a kiss. Surprised? Think about it: How many germy surfaces have your hands touched today, and how many have your lips touched? To be on the safe side, try to avoid any direct contact with people who are sick.

·Old thinking -- A flu shot can give you the flu. Truth is the vaccine contains a dead virus, which can't cause the flu. However, you may experience some pain or soreness at the site of the injection, or a low grade fever that lasts for a couple of days. This is a normal reaction that means your body is responding to the vaccine.

·Old thinking -- You should never work out with a cold. Truth is moderate activity is a good way to promote sinus drainage, which can prevent that cold from turning into sinusitis. But if you're running a fever or feeling totally exhausted, then common sense tells you it's better to rest.

·Old thinking -- You're not contagious unless you have a fever. Truth is you could actually be contagious before obvious symptoms, including fever, ever begin. The best advice to be cautious during cold and flu season and wash your hands frequently to avoid spreading germs.

Grandmaster JohnMcD Triumphs

2007-11-20T09:31:00.000-08:00

Another win for yours truly in the Jumbo Rap. Robbies was good but you decided that the Grandmaster's rap about eggs should win. The music by the way is 'the message' by grandmaster flash and the furious five

sing along if you want

Get hungry from the creme egg ads on the tv
They taste great but they’re not healthy
Rip off the foil, its a pleasing sight
I’ve been known to eat 10 in a night
Weight lifters use it as a source of proteen
Four raw in a glass it sure tastes mean
But you never hear the muscle men moan
They just lift the glass and take it down in w-one
Chickens lay them best when in good accomodation
They lay every day to feed at breakfast a hungry nation
You can also get eggs from birds who quack
But don’t be surprised if the canards fight back
Goose, quail, scotch and curried too
Best stand up wind, it can smell like a zoo

talk to you tomorrow

jmcd

What you nails say about you!!!

2007-11-19T12:41:00.000-08:00

So on the 7.30 chat this morning, we quizzed stephanie about hers. we based it on the article below - she reckoned she was a mixture of off-beat colours!! Take the test and see what you think. Oh and by the way, we're giving cash for the Who The Jumbo Am I - tune in after 8 to get your clue!!!

cheers

JmcD

LET HER FINGERNAILS DO THE TALKING
How women dress up their fingernails reveals their inner personality, says Pam Bell, a color, consultant and the official numerologist for the National Examiner. Bell offers readers these tips on how to nail down the psychological profiles of the women in their lives by checking out their manicures:
Pink polish -- Romance and friendship motivate women fond of this ultra-feminine hue.
Orange polish -- World of caution -- only confident big-city gals on the cutting edge of style can really carry off this color.
Red polish -- The power color attracts born leaders who have a mission in life.
Offbeat colors -- A rebellious side resides in women who get dolled-up in unnatural colors like blue or green.
French manicures -- These ladies put a lot of work into looking like they have naturally perfect nails. They have their tips enhanced by white polish and the rest covered in light pink or beige, completing the illusion with a coat of clear lacquer. These gals hope they come off like the girl next door -- only better.
No polish -- It takes a self-sufficient woman to go bare. But her confidence can lure her into talking on too much.

Pyscho Babble - Are you a Bitch!!!

2007-11-16T09:20:00.000-08:00

Hi Jumbos

another bit of pyscho babble - have a go and let us know if its accurate - just reply to the blog

John and Robbie

HOW MUCH OF A BITCH ARE YOU ANYWAY?
My female co-host & I joke about each other attitudes quite often, so when we came across this in Glamour magazine, we had to take the test.
The celebrity persona I can identify most closely with:
a Jennifer Love Hewitt
b Angelina Jolie
c Courtney Love

My animal alter-ego would be a:
a Bunny
b Cat
c Snake

When I think about sex, I:
a Become overwhelmed with guilt and hurriedly push the thoughts from my mind.
b Feel a bit embarrassed, but get excited anyway.
c Reach for the closets battery-operated love toy from my extensive bedside collection.

I would most abhor being described as:
a A jerk.
b An idiot.
c A bimbo

In high school, I was:

a On the cheer leading squad and wore a lot of J. Crew.
b In the Spanish club, and watched a lot of movies.
c Dying my hair and wearing very dark eyeliner.

At 11 am on a workday, you can find me:
a Surrounded by co-workers, talking and laughing.
b Diligently typing away at my computer.
c Outside my office smoking a cigarette.

My primary goal in life has been to:
a Get married and have a big happy family.
b Write a best-selling novel.
c Travel the world, have passionate love affairs and crazy adventures.

My first boyfriend and I broke up when:
a He dumped me for another girl
b We mutually decided to go our separate ways and further our personal growth.
c I cheated on him with his best friend.

In love relationships, I don't believe in:
a Keeping secrets.
b Too much talking.
c Exclusivity.

My tried-and-true, no-fail flirting tactic is:
a To bat my eyelashes and wear lots of blush.
b To stare deeply into his eyes while I quiz him on philosophy.
c To ignore the guy until he is begging at my feet.

If you answered mostly:
A's, you've got zero bitch in you! You're a nice girl, a girl who takes pride in her high moral standards and classic family values. You believe in love at first sight and enduring romance. Your friendly, warm and sweet. That's all fine and dandy but remember to make time for yourself, let your hair down.

B's, you're one smart cookie - with a definite streak of bitch. You're more about substance than style, and you will never settle for anyone who doesn't allow you room to grow, learn, and do what you love. Have a few more margaritas or a no-apologies weekend fling.

C's, you BITCH you! You are feisty, fearless, and independent. People don't always know how to handle you. You can be a difficult pill to swallow-and that's a good thing.

Famous Last Words!!!!

2007-11-15T00:55:00.000-08:00

In our 7.30 chat, we had some famous last words - have a read and see if you can add to the list

THE BEST IS YET TO COME

The folks at bspcn.com have complied a list of quotes of those who felt it necessary to predict the future of things to come. Check these out:

"We will bury you." -- Nikita Krushchev, Soviet Premier, predicting Soviet communism will win over U.S. capitalism, 1958.

"Everything that can be invented has been invented." -- Charles H. Duell, an official at the U.S. patent office, 1899

"I see no good reasons why the views given in this volume should shock the religious sensibilities of anyone." -- Charles Darwin, in the foreword to his book, The Origin of Species, 1869

"If anything remains more or less unchanged, it will be the role of women." -- David Riesman, conservative American social scientist, 1967

"It will be gone by June." -- Variety, passing judgement on rock 'n roll in 1955

"A short-lived satirical pulp." -- Time, writing off Mad magazine in 1956

"This antitrust thing will blow over." -- Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft

"Read my lips: No new taxes." -- George Bush, 1988

"That virus is a pussycat." -- Dr. Peter Duesberg, molecular-biology professor at U.C. Berkeley, on HIV, 1988

"The case is a loser." -- Johnnie Cochran, on soon-to-be client O.J.'s chances of winning, 1994

"Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote." -- Grover Cleveland, U.S. President, 1905

"Ours has been the first [expedition], and doubtless to be the last, to visit this profitless locality." -- Lt. Joseph Ives, after visiting the Grand Canyon in 1861

Pyscho Babble - What your shoes say about You!!!

2007-11-14T05:07:00.000-08:00

Hi Jumbos,
We got quite a few texts about our shoe quiz - take it and see what your shoes says about you!!
talk to you tomorrow on the radio,
JmcD

WHAT YOUR SHOES SAY ABOUT YOU

(Sun) The shoes you put on your tootsies reveal your true personality from how many pairs you own to the styles you love. Discover the real you by answering theses questions:

You buy new shoes:
a When you see a great pair while window shopping.
b Only when you need them.
c Whenever the spirit moves you.

You usually wear:
a Heels
b Flats
c Athletic styles

Most of your shoes are predominantly:
a Bright red, blue and lilac
b Black
c Brown, navy and white
How many pairs of shoes do you own?
a More than 24 pairs.
b 10 to 12 pairs.
c 14 to 24 pairs.

Analysis:

Mostly "a" - You go with your gut and make quick decisions based on your instinctual reactions. You also enjoy taking risk and your eclectic choice of footwear reflects your carefree spirit.
Mostly "b" - Practicality rules your decisions and you don't make up your mind until you've thoroughly researched a problem. Your shoes are just as down to earth and sensible as you are.
Mostly "c" - You're a flexible person who listens to other's opinions and willingly compromises. That give and take attitude extends to your shoes, which include a variety of comfy styles.

Mixmaster Robbie D throws down his kebab rap!!!!

2007-11-13T14:30:00.000-08:00

Now, I'm not a bad loser...but the Robster won this weeks rap. It was even amongst the audience vote so we went to June as the tie breaker. Unbelieveably, she went for Robbie and has set up an even more difficult task - a rap about eggs.

tune in next tuesday to see us smash it up (sorry, couldn't resist!!)

jmcd

The Friend You Miss Most

2007-11-12T01:00:00.001-08:00

Hi All,

David Schwimmer's birthday today - so we were talking about our favourite and least favourite friend - quite a lot of opinion on it!!!

also on mondays, check out the xfactor audio that we'll have for you each monday. tomorrow, we have the jumbo rap - bring it on, robbie's going down

jmcd

As Promised - The Man Quiz!!!!

2007-11-08T13:51:00.000-08:00

Hi All,
as promised, we're posting the Man Quiz - Robbie got 26, Liam got 16 and John got 13 - let us know how you get on

The Jumbo Crew

THE MAN QUIZ
Take it on the air with your female co-hosts and see who is more of a "man." Give yourself a point for every yes.
· Got a tattoo
· Brewed your own beer
· Driven a car worth more than 100,000 dollars
· Owned a dog
· Quit a job because you were pissed at (or hated) the boss
· Told your dad face-to-face that you love him
· Worked overseas
· Placed a bet over 200 dollars
· Demanded a pay raise
· Saved a life
· Grown a beard and had it for more than two years
· Taken a ride on a wave that was bigger than you
· Had sex in a public place
· Run a marathon
· Learned to play a musical instrument
· Written a book
· Gained revenge on someone
· Been a best man
· Caught a big fish
· Flown a plane
· Rode a horse
· Had a go at diving
· Became a vegetarian for at least 6 months
· Gone broke trying to buy love
· Bought a dud car
· Slept with an EX-girlfriend
· Become a dad
· Sat on a jury
· Swam with dolphins
· Woken up with a stranger
· Given blood
· Gone to an all black march
· Acquired a scar
· Climbed a mountain
· Performed an anonymous act of generosity
· Skydived
· Tied a bow tie by yourself
· Won a trophy
· Rode a motorcycle twice the speed limit

Your score:
· If you said "yes" 10 or less times -- you need to get out more.
· If you said "yes" between 11 and 20 times -- you're cool. You've suffered pain, embarrassment and success.
· If you said "yes" between 21 and 30 times -- you are a better man than most. Good luck with the rest of the list.
· If you said "yes" between 31 and 40 times, you rule! You are the man!

First Victory to GrandMaster John McD!!!

2007-11-06T12:30:00.001-08:00

Well, we had the first round of our Rap-Off today and guess who won!!! As voted by the listeners to the jumbo breakfast!

Robbie was none too happy and the gauntlet has been thrown down!!

Our Next Rap is about Kebabs - Doner, Shish and the like

Tune in to find out when we're throwing down the beats!!!

jmcd

YO! The Jumbo Breakfast Show Raps!

2007-11-01T09:44:00.000-07:00

Good to be posting again!!

If you were listening today, you'll know that the gauntlet has been thrown by robbie. We are going to do our own version of 8 Mile - called 14.8 Kilometres. Each week, we'll be asking listeners for a topic for us to compose a rap about.

You'll then vote on the best rap for bragging rights

Tune in hear more!!!! text us and give us a topic!!!

photos from the new dualler!!!

2007-05-29T00:56:00.000-07:00

so here's what i'm talking about - i risked life and limb to get this photo - what is it all about? let us know - text in during the show - and can the scummer who decided to deface it explain why they did it too? shame on them!!!

what is it????

2007-05-27T08:34:00.000-07:00

if you've been on the new dualler between kilbeggan and kinnegad, you might have noticed something on the right as you heading in the westmeath direction. It is a series of poles with some sort of head. Jumbo listeners, tell us what you think that it is!! looks very odd

Our First Thousand Euros!!!!

2007-05-14T01:46:00.000-07:00

Robbie's been pounding the pavements and arriving in people's drives throughout the midlands. And Finally....we gave away the thousand euros. Well done to Liz Hogan from Birr who picked the right combination for the safe and is now a thousand euros richer.

But Don't Panic, we have another 1,000 euros to give away from Lawton and Foley Mitsubishi Motors in Edenderry. And if you don't win, we have a jumbo breakfast roll from Centra in O'Carroll Street in Tullamore.

By the way, we still have the 100 euro makeovers for you car from Deronix in Portlaoise

General Election, Here we come!!!

2007-05-11T06:11:00.000-07:00

Just a quick post to let you know to watch out for the Jumbo Breakfast Show election posters around the midlands. Tune in to the show for more details

Hello and Welcome

2007-05-11T06:09:00.000-07:00

Hi All,

Welcome to the Jumbo Breakfast Show blog. This is our first posting. Check back regularly for more posts and tune to show every weekday morning from 6.30am